Me as a child with my aunt and grandmother… pointing out to the sea, probably telling I wanted to go to the other side.
I admit, I wanted to see the world beyond Finland
How can you tell the story of Finland, when all you wanted was to leave Finland?I visited my home country Finland for the first time last month as a travel journalist on a trip that was organized as part of Matka trade show, and I was part of the Nordic Bloggers’ Experience. Inna-Pirjetta Lahti of Innastus agency organized a world class event for international travel bloggers. It was sort of an emotional trip as I watched an international travel blogger crew (many of my dear friends), to visit my home country (many for the first time) and fall in love with it. Above all, Finland impressed me in the ways I was not expecting, and as I was boarding my Finnair flight at the Helsinki airport to fly back home, I couldn’t help myself but feel sad to leave. Ironically, it was at the very same airport, that I had longed so many times just to leave Finland. I didn’t travel much as a child, but visited the airport often with my dad, picking up and taking my aunt back to the airport as she was visiting us. My aunt Eira worked as a flight attendant for Lufthansa for over 30 years, and lived in Germany. Her postcards took me around the world, and I followed each week where in the world she was from her hand-written work schedule pinned onto my grandmother’s wall. The treasures she brought me, including the miniature hotel soaps and shampoos, and the business class toiletry bags became my priced possessions, among with her school map book from 1955, that already had been loved to pieces by her. After living in 4 countries, and moving an average of every two years, I still carry that map book with me. To me my aunt was living the life, but just the trips to the Helsinki airport were magical to me. I listened to my aunt’s stories from Bangkok to New York City and watched her plane to take off from the large windows of the Helsinki airport, longing to leave Finland and travel one day too.
Leaving wasn’t so easy after all
Fast forward several years… and I realized that there are those rare moments in life when you know that if you do something, your life will never be the same. I had one of those at the Helsinki airport in 1998 as I was boarding on my flight to New York City. I was leaving to the USA for the first time, to spend 3 months with my then-boyfriend, now-husband. It was right around the time of the Nagano Olympics, and I think of it every time during the Winter Games. The plane I was about to take to New York was hours late arriving from Nagano, and I sat and waited at the airport with my parents. I had never been that nervous in my life and by that time I had already traveled a bit. My parents didn’t understand why I was so nervous about the flight, and leaving.I’m not afraid of leaving, I’m afraid I’ll never come back”were my exact words to my parents. As much as I wanted to see the world, and spend the rest of my life with the love of my life, one of the hardest things I have ever done was to board on that plane knowing that it meant leaving my country, and my family behind. I know it sounds dramatic, it’s not like I couldn’t cross the borders or never come back if I wanted to. But the reality of life as it was, I knew my life might not include even annual visits back to Finland, and it always hasn’t. (I got engaged one week after boarding on that flight).