And ironically we had just issued a no-sex-policy in our bedroom (or in any other place, you dirty mind) two weeks ago because we thought three is a perfect number of children in our family, and I wasn’t taking the pill yet.
Our youngest one will start Kindergarten on the fall and we have already been dreaming of dropping kids at school on the morning and just spending time just two of us – like skiing together. We were really looking forward of the fall, and kids being older.
Then we found out I was pregnant.
Tears in my husbands eyes, he was so happy.
Our kids giving me fifty more hugs a day, and writing down name suggestions for the baby (like Miley, Bologna, Zit and Zack).
Dreaming of the baby.
Thinking which new car we need to buy.
Dreaming of nursery, baby booties, strollers and the baby smell.
And I can’t wait to start feeling life in my belly.
Little feet kicking inside me and me hoping at the same time it would stop and continue forever.
I’m looking forward of the whole nine yards. Or months, whatever.
And then… Maybe I’m just a freakin’ idiot, who can’t stop worrying, so I have googled all possible ways of this pregnancy to end – after all, I got pregnant with the IUD and it is 50% possible for the pregnancy to end within the first trisemester. Now I’m terrified that this pregnancy I did not expect and I did not want to happen, will end.
I’ve had a bad feeling the whole day.
Maybe it’s just because I didn’t even know how much I wanted another baby until I got pregnant.
Maybe it’s because all the horrible things I googled.
Maybe it’s because my family is so excited about the baby and I feel sort of bad we already told children (well, the doc did, kids were there), I know the normal risks of miscarriage within the first trisemester. I would hate to tell my kids they are not going to have a baby sister or brother.
The bad feeling was just like feeling I can’t breath deep enough. And then the feared happened. I had some light spotting tonight, and of course freaked out.
I instantly Twittered to all my mommy friends on Twitter and called my husband, who was at work. I was in panic, and I don’t know what I would have done without my husband and mommy-friends. And this was at 9:30 on the evening.
I can’t tell how impressed with people I am. Within 15 minutes of me twittering my fears and about the spotting, I had over 15 people telling me that it had happen to them too and even my male twitter-friends wrote and told their wives had some spotting, and it’s nothing to worry about.
Luckily my husband works in the medical field, and he was able to get hold of two OB/GYN nurses working in his company and they both assured it was nothing to worry about.
Within one hour I was panic attack free and calm and not worried. And can you believe it? Partly because of a social media site.