No more babies

This post is continuing my posts about me getting pregnant with IUD and then miscarrying the baby: I’m in birth control hell Coffee Made my Boobs Bigger? Baby News Bye Bye Baby Scare How the Worst in Life can become the Best in Life It was too early to get any kind of disclosure to my surprise pregnancy when I started bleeding more and went to the emergency room once again last Sunday. I wanted my misery to be over so bad, that I was just hoping that everything that was left of the pregnancy would come out itself as the doctor said often happens. Well, it didn’t happen last time I miscarried a baby 7 years ago, and it didn’t happen this time either. I continued having my blood drawn every other day the whole week, to see if the pregnancy hormone level was going down while having cramps, pain, and heavy bleeding. On Friday morning I had another appointment with my doctor and the first thing my doctor asks when was the last time I ate. (BTW, changed doctors, I didn’t want to go back to the same lady who told me my pregnancy symptoms were imagination, and my breasts wouldn’t feel so “pregnant” and swollen if I drank less coffee). She wanted to know when I ate because she wanted me on the cutting board as soon as possible. I mean … she couldn’t rule out ectopic pregnancy and wanted to do a D & C and possibly also do a laparoscopy to see if it was a tubal pregnancy. My pregnancy hormone levels had not gone down the whole week. The risk of having a ectopic/tubal pregnancy is fairly small (only 1/4000 pregnancies are tubal), but the fact I got pregnant with IUD made it much more likely to have an ectopic pregnancy. There is also another option to treat ectopic pregnancies – just one shot of Methotrexate, which will kill all fast-growing cells, like pregnancy cells, in your body. This same drug is used in chemotherapy and for certain types of cancer. While one shot instead of going under anesthesia and possibly the doctor needing to do some exploratory surgery on my tubes, sounds the easier way to go, I didn’t even consider the methotrexate shot, one reason being “Methotrexate can cause serious or life-threatening side effects on your liver, lungs, kidneys, and bone marrow (immune system).” I had just about time to drive back home and do a quick 15-minute google-search on the surgery I might be going through a few hours later. They needed to do the D & C, which basically is scooping the tissue out from uterus, and then they were testing it for pregnancy tissue. If there was pregnancy tissue, the diagnosis would be just a normal miscarriage. If they could not find any pregnancy tissue in that – the risk of having a tubal pregnancy is very high, and they would also do the laparoscopy – going in and checking if the pregnancy was tubal, and then possibly removing the tube. This sounded really scary to me, especially because I would just go to sleep and find out what they did to me after I wake up. Luckily they didn’t have to do the bigger surgery, and I was out of the hospital a few hours later. This whole experience just has been both physically and mentally very tiring. Last week, when I first started having a little spotting, I realized that I really really still wanted to have another baby. We had gotten so excited about a new family member, and I and Matt even talked that if something was to happen, we still probably would consider another baby. Now – not so much. Now I’m just so thankful that we have been able to have three healthy children, and I do not want to go through what I just did, and I’m ready to say; we’re done. Unless of course, the next birth control method fails us too.

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