Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms! Today I would like to plead you to forget about mommy guilt, remind you to trust your gut and reward yourself for doing an awesome job. I co-hosted the National Mom’s Nite Out event in New York City at Wyndham Hotel on Thursday with Maria Bailey of MomTalkRadio, among Kim Orlando of Traveling Mom, Amy Oztan of Selfish Mom and Beth Feldman of Role Mommy. We were pampered with good food, bubbly drinks, fun giveaways and entertainment provided by Beth Feldman and her “momma gang”, who all contributed in Beth’s books. Beth’s book See Mom Run came out earlier this year, and we heard exciting news – there is a new one coming out later this year, and we were able to hear a few stories from the book already on the Thursday’s event. The new book is about mommy guilt. Mommy guilt. Speaking of mommy guilt.. I started getting mommy guilt for not feeling mommy guilt. I work a lot, but I am still able to take my children to school on most days, and pick them up. I travel for work too – but I justify it by not having a nanny, au pair or not even an occasional babysitter – when I’m not home, my husband takes care of the kids, and they are able to enjoy quality time with daddy. But what do you know – the very next day I admire a picture drawn by my daughter, and in the picture there is our family and some friends enjoying a day outdoors, having a picnic and walking the dogs. But on a closer look… I was in the picture, but not outside having a picnic. “You are inside blogging” says my daughter and points me out in the window of the house.
It doesn’t of course make it any easier that my husband, the non-math-geek-type, makes a quick calculation in his head of my work hours (over 64 a week) and tells me that technically I work more than eight 8-hour work days a week, more than there are days in the week. What? Is the entire universe out to get me to feel mommy guilt??? Trust Your Gut Yes, I work a lot. Yes, I even travel. But you know what? I show my girls an example of a woman who lives life to the fullest, who enjoys what she does and who is determined to make a difference in the world. Even my son learns that women are smart and powerful, and equal with men. I show my children that I have guts to pursue my dreams, and that I am not going to give up, even when things get difficult. I am a perfect example that hard work is rewarded. And I am an example that you can work and love every day of working. I know in my gut that I am a good mom, even though it means that when the rest of the family is watching a Saturday night movie, I’m sitting right next to them and writing this post on my laptop. Trust your gut mom – and watch this video done by Jen Singer of MommaSaid.net, and the author of the series of Stop Second-Guessing Yourself books. You know the best what’s the best for your kids – and so do I, I know what’s the best for mine.
I’m doing an Awesome Job Oh yes, Happy Mother’s Day to me, I am an awesome mom. (Note: no hint of sarcasm here. Really, I am an awesome mom). I know I am doing an awesome job as a mom, because my kids are beyond awesome. They are top students, good listeners, behave well (in public), are smarter than fifth graders and have passion and compassion. While I lack as a hovering helicopter mom and don’t even fix their lunches every morning (because I am busy checking emails) – kids are independent and can make their own sandwiches. While I am a control freak and can’t hire a babysitter to watch them to go to movies with my husband – kids actually prefer the family movie nights at home. And then the real proof comes from my daughter and in a form of a Mother’s Day card titled “Top Ten Reasons Why I Love My Mom,” and my eyes are in tears already on the third page “I love my mom because she works and gets money for our family.” And because she bakes cakes, gives her healthy food and is a snuggle bug.
The real Aha!-moment comes when I realize that my children are proud of me, and that is really all that matters to me.
Really, we need to stop feeling guilty if we are not perfect. I’m far from perfect, but it doesn’t matter. Besides, your children always think you are the best mom ever – how will you make them feel if you think you are not?
I love that you say you are an awesome mom – mostly because you are and also because I need to cut myself some slack on that too.
Kathy Sena - Parent Talk Today
Katja, this is a fabulous post! Love it. Your kids are seeing a great example of a woman who works hard and loves what she does while also loving her family. I think you’re pretty darned amazing! Keep those great posts coming.
Yep. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others, what works for one family does not necessarily work for all. You’re an awesome mother and friend and entrepreneur and I am sure your kids know that. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting them yet but from what I hear they are just as wonderful as you. And I don’t doubt that at all.
Happy Mother’s Day!
You ARE a good mom, Katja. And a good fellow blogger for posting my video. Happy Mother’s Day to you and everyone here. Enjoy!
Awesome post! You said it so perfectly. Happy Mothers Day Katja!
lisa lehmann aka thebeadgirl
you ARE an awesome mom! thanks for your inspiration!
now…i’m off to take a bath and pamper myself a bit!